Oreos, Milkshakes, and Harpoons

The night of June 29th I hardly slept. I was up until stupid AIMing with Michael. All freaking night and it was so amazing. I loved every moment. We talked every single night from like ten to two, sometimes even longer. Eventually it got even longer because we couldn’t stand it.

My friends were so against it in the beginning. Obviously he was a bit of a man-whore and my god so many of my friends were against it. It got to be a bit of a chore fighting all of them. I was so naive when it came to it all. Sure I had had boyfriend’s before and when I say this I mean two of them. I had never been kissed nor told some one that I loved them beyond friend type feelings. But I fell so hard.

I cried, my god did I cry the day I found out the girl had had an abortion. The under aged one, we’ll call her Milly. I was heart broken that she killed his child. I also found out that they were black mailing him for money to pay for the abortion. Either pay or they were gonna press charges. Sadly he didn’t have the money. The game store that he worked at had just fired him because they had over hired. It man that I was falling desperately in love with was going to go to jail and I couldn’t do anything to help it. I cried then too.

By the grace of God though he didn’t go. He managed to get the money and all was right in the world again, at least for a little while.

The night of the July 13th I went to a band gig. A dear friend of mine was lead guitarist in a heavy metal band and I went to see it. The night before has to be the only night that I never talked with Michael on AIM. I’ll let this other blog entry explain it to you.

“What Would Daddy Say to a Guy Like You?

I know that he wouldn’t be happy, I know that for a fact but he really can’t do anything from where he’s at, can he? But… I know he’d want me to be happy, and I wonder if I could, knowing what I know, what you’ve done and how you’ve hurt me.

It’s insane to think that I was out tonight with a man that loves me, that would give me the world if I asked for it, a man whom I earnestly yet oddly love as well and I’m still sitting here giving you the time of day.

It makes me sick, thinking back to last night, you held me, telling me you already missed me and and how you hoped to see me again real soon, how you hated the wait. You want to talk about waiting? I asked if you’d be online later and you told me yes. Maybe at that moment you meant it, and I believe that in that moment you did but where was that moment lost between my arms and her? It wasn’t that far of a distance I’m sure. I waited up for you. ‘Til about 2:30am just for you. Imagine how foolish I felt to find out tonight you were fucking someone while I was waiting. Well, I’m glad you were entertained at my expense.

I must admit that you have guts for admitting it to me, it pissed me off though that you acted as if you were the one that needed sympathy, when it was you that slashed my heart out. And I comforted you, of course, because that’s what I do, but I can’t say that I’m sorry you felt like shit, I’m glad you did, not that that even measures up to even half of what I felt.

Another thing is that I can’t fight your bull shit logic, It’s all a bunch of lines and I know that, but Hell, it’s valid so why not?You knew that being with me would be like completely abandoning your sex life for quite some time. It’s great that you accept that but I hate how you saw that as an excuse for one last hoo-rah, after you knew how I felt, after saying you felt the same way. You don’t just sleep with people for the hell of it, Jesus Christ! But sadly, I’m going to move past this, I won’t forgive it and I won’t forget it, but I won’t hold it over your head either but we’re just gonna sweep this under the rug and hope it doesn’t make a big lump. No one else will know about this, because they’ll tell me what I already know and I won’t be able to stand that. Mom will never let me see you again and Sarah will know that she’s right. I have fought them to get them to change there minds about you and this will only confirm their opinions.

Which brings me to another thing, you probably couldn’t tell because we we’re typing but God, was I bitter and Man, did I hate you for that moment and all of that stuff about us not dating so it didn’t matter, boy would that have made your eyes water. Fuck I was pissed, Am still pissed, I felt as if you wanted me to hate you and never talk to you again, but I know that’s not true.

And I don’t know why, but I just want to be near you, we don’t have to talk, just hold ma and I’ll know everything will be alright. But if you ever hurt me like that again, YOU’LL feel it for the rest of your life, long after I’ve gone.”

With Love!

CoffinPrincess

In the begining….

Any girl in her right mind would have ran. Common sense would have agreed but seeing as I hail from nonsense land that really has no standing in any of this.

I met Michael for the first time in high school. I was fifteen and a sophomore. A once good friend of mine would drive me home every day and she had this boy that followed her around hopelessly like a lost puppy and that boy had a friend. This only occurred once but the friend walked with the boy. Jenna, my ride and Andrew, the puppy talked on the driver’s side of the car and myself and Michael insulted each other on the passenger side. I never really saw him again. We did go to the same school but I just never bothered it seemed to look for him or even care that he was around as sad as that makes me now.

That summer I sent him an email to which he promptly responded to but I never returned.

I graduated from high school June of 2008.

I had this dear friend whom I hung out with a lot that year. She was dating Andrew. So one day, maybe a week after graduation she and I drove to the next town over where Andrew was working to have lunch with him. Michael also worked there so we had lunch with him as well. At this time I learned that Michael had two girls pregnant with his child, one who was underage. That should have sent off flares. Any one else would have left that at causal friends.

The four of us as well as another mutual friend and Michael’s brother, well we all started playing D&D together just so we could all hang out. I learn at one of the sessions that he was possibly looking at jail time for getting the under aged girl pregnant. Another thing that should have hindered all furtherance of a relationship.

But it’s late now and I have early work. I’ll share more another time. It get’s a tad more interesting I swear

CoffinPrincess

Hello world!

I’ll leave the title because it seems appropriate. Hopefully I’ll keep up with this one. I wanted to share everything that’s happened. It’s not an epic story or anything, but it’s mine and its very special. Some of it was difficult, some of it was very difficult but in the end it was worth it. It’s still worth it and it’s still going to be difficult. But we’ll work through it together. I know this first post is very vague but you’ll see why. I don’t want to spoil too much

So stick around and we’ll see how far it gets.

With Love!

CoffinPrincess